Planned Parenthood
by KillerMay
Summary: In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.
1. one

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— I shouldn't be starting something new when the other thing I started hasn't been updated since October but I want to guys. Seriously. All the chapters in this are going to be short and it's probably going to be pretty short all together.

.

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Sakura breathed a sigh of relief as soon as the doorbell rang. She was going _insane_ with all of the incessant crying coming from the baby in the carrier. Her name was Ayumi and she was devil child.

She made a quick dash for the door and was about to yell at the person standing on the other side when he just pushed past her into the house.

"Hey!" she called, going after him. "Did I _say_ you could come into my house?"

Sasuke looked over at her, clearly unamused. "Would you prefer me to go home and leave you here with Ayumi?" Sakura thought about it for a minute. No, no she would _not_ want that at all. She was about to tell him so, but he didn't really care and wasn't really listening.

He was currently staring down at the carrier, his eye twitching slightly. "How long has she been crying?" he asked in his usual monotone.

Sakura looked at him straight in the eye with a look of horror and torment on her face. "_Forever_," she whispered in reply. It was true (kind of). That _thing_ never stopped crying—no matter what she did. She changed its diaper, fed it, changed its diaper _again_, held it for long periods of time—nothing worked! It was getting ridiculous.

Sasuke sighed and bent over to pick up Ayumi. Once he was holding her, she stopped crying immediately.

Sakura gaped like a fish and kept opening and closing her mouth. "Wh—How?... Huh? It's not even a real baby! How can it like you better than me?"

"It really says something about your character when even robot babies hate you," he replied quietly. Sakura wasn't sure if he was being quiet so he wouldn't wake up the baby or because he was just naturally quiet—maybe both.

She wanted to punch him in the face (she had wanted to punch him in the face throughout this entire project, really—but he was so pretty and she wouldn't want to ruin his face) because it was supposed be to _their_ baby, but he was making it _his_ baby.

"Maybe you should be a single parent," she muttered just loud enough for him to hear. She knew that technically wasn't possible though. This stupid baby project was half of their grade and if _both_ partners didn't participate, then _both_ partners would get a bad grade.

He ignored her and continued to hold the now-quiet doll.

Sakura watched him for a few minutes before speaking up again. "You know Sasuke, you're really good at this dad thing."

"_Shut up_," he replied harshly. He didn't mean it to sound the way it did (he wasn't a mean person, really—he wasn't) but she was going to wake Ayumi _again_ and that would just be obnoxious.

Sakura, of course, decided to take it the wrong way (because who wouldn't?) and glared at him. _Rude_.

"Well, _sorry_," she replied in an overly mocking tone. He sent a glare her way as Ayumi started to cry again. It was too loud. He kind of wondered what would happen if they ripped out the speaker.

_Maybe we could just cover it with heavy tape..._, he thought, his eyebrow raised and his mouth twisted to one side.

"What'cha thinking 'bout?" Sakura asked, almost playfully with a break between each syllable.

"Mutilating this doll and then buying another before the assignment is up. Or locking it in a cellar—which would probably be cheaper..."

Sakura blinked and her eyebrows furrowed. She just had be partnered with a weird psychopath, didn't she? "I can't believe I had a baby with you...," she muttered. "I mean honestly, you don't even have a respectable job."

Part of the assignment was to pick a job out of a hat and plan the rest accordingly. Sasuke ended up being a drug dealer. She got to be a stay-at-home mom. They also had to act as if it was real so the baby had to stay with her at all times and Sasuke would pop in and out at random points in the day.

He shrugged. "It pays," he replied, bluntly. "Besides, Naruto is a prostitute." Their teacher was a complete freak. Really, he was. Those were two of the weird jobs. Two other people were strippers and someone else was a pimp. There were a couple people who made up a mob and a mob boss. There were normal jobs too though. Neji was a dentist.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You know, if you're a drug dealer and I don't have a job—and we all know that the only way this would really work was if I was one of your clients or something. Why else would I be okay with it, I mean really...—we would probably just give the baby up for adoption. So, really, we should just give it to Ino." She was an adoption agent. Rumor has it that several people already left their babies in her locker (how they got it in there, no one is really sure) and she was pretty miserable right now. "Naruto has first block with her, we could make him sit it in her seat."

"I always did love failing," he said dryly.

"But this is an assignment about the real world. And in a _real situation_, this is what we would do, right?"

Sasuke glanced down at the still-crying baby in his arms. "...In a real situation, why would we have a fake baby?"

Sakura stared at him. And then she continued to stare at him. Eventually, she found herself laughing uncontrollably and holding onto him. She could feel tears coming to her eyes. It wasn't even that funny—it was just the moment, really.

As she was laughing, the baby stopped crying and let out some weird giggle-thing of its own. Which was weird, but they didn't say anything about it. It did make Sakura stop laughing for a few seconds because a fake baby thing had just laughed in her ear and that was incredibly creepy.

She eventually stopped laughing for real. She stared at the creepy fake baby thing, that was now sleeping—thank God—and smiled. "You know what Sasuke? One day, we are going to be _awesome_ parents."

"...Is that some kind of proposition?" he asked with a smirk.

Sakura blinked a couple times and then looked up at him. "Do you want it to be?" and then she waggled her eyebrows in a really awkward manner and started laughing again.

There was only a week left of the project and Sasuke could already tell it was going to be a long week.

.

**notes**— Lately, I've been laughing about everything. Like, seriously. I don't know why either. There was this Charmin commercial where the bear was on top of a ton of pillows and then it was just like, "Uh-oh! I gotta go!" I laughed about that for a really long time. I was smiling while I wrote that. Seriously. It was hilarious.


	2. two

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— Hello. I thought today was Monday and was like, "YEAHHH, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER AND PRETTY LITTLE LIARS. YEAHHH." Then it wasn't and I was disappointed. Anyways, this is like, a flashback.

.

The day Kakashi walked in, moderately on time by his standards (ten minutes late, rather than the standard twenty), carrying a box of what looked like babies, people were worried.

There was murmuring around the second block sophomore health class. Part of the class was learning about family values and as apart of that, they were supposed to have a fake family.

All the juniors and seniors that had already had the class said it was, by far, the _worst_ project they ever had to do and if the class wasn't required, they would have avoided it completely. Unfortunately though, health was a required class the first two years of high school and then was a required project. No one was safe.

Kakashi—or Mr. Hatake, as the kids called him—stood at the front of the room, his hands on either side of the box, looking around at the students with wicked amusement. Even though these things were a pain to have during school hours, watching the kids flip out was completely worth it.

A couple years ago, the school upgraded the fake babies. Now, when they were crying, you had to do more than just stick a key in their back to make them shut up. They were more like actual babies—except they cried five times as much.

It was times like these when Kakashi remembered why he became a teacher.

As the kids whispered among themselves, he turned to the white board and wrote "Ready or Not!" in big letters across the top of the board. When the students turned to see what he had written, their faces paled.

One of the first things on their syllabus under required was the Ready or Not Baby Project.

Naruto found himself latching onto Sasuke, who sat right next to him. "We're going to die!" he exclaimed in a whisper.

Kakashi continued writing the criteria for the project under the headline. Everyone was freaking out. What if it was really as bad as everyone said it was? After all, if _everyone_ said it was awful—it was probably awful.

Taking a break from writing on the board, Kakashi turned on the SMART Board™. On it was a list of names with more names beside it—_partners_.

Everyone had a partner except for the very last name—Ino Yamanaka was marked as a single mom. They all knew how Kakashi chose the partners, the secret had been passed from one class to another, he took whatever gender was more abundant in the class and went down the list in alphabetical order, choosing a name of the opposite gender from a hat.

Chances are, if your name is one of the last on the role, you'll be a single parent. Of course one year, there were two guys left over so Kakashi just made them a gay couple. He had been known to do weird things like that. Rumor has it that it was Sasuke Uchiha—hottest guy in tenth grade, if not the school—'s older brother and that he was now actually gay.

No one in the school knows if this rumor is actually true. Except probably Sasuke but most people were too afraid to actually approach him. He was like some kind of _god_, after all.

Everyone scanned the list for their name rapidly, hoping and praying that they weren't paired with Shino Aburame.

Sasuke inwardly breathed out a sigh of relief when he found his name. He was paired with Sakura. He was afraid it was going to be some random stalker he didn't know—because whenever teacher's chose partners in other classes, that _always_ happened to him. He knew Sakura though and she was as sane as Sakura could be (which actually wasn't all that sane, but it wasn't creepy insane, so it was okay).

Naruto leaned over to him. "Uh, who's Hinata?" he whispered. Sasuke pointed her out. Her face was currently awkwardly red and several people around her were asking if she was okay. "Oh. Okay. She's pretty hot. Wouldn't want an ugly wife." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Okay, now, you get to pick out a profession," Kakashi said at the front of the class. "I will hand out babies afterwards. First though, go sit with your partner." Everyone moved around until they were in the correct places. "This is where you'll be sitting for the rest of this project—congratulations."

He then grabbed a cowboy hat and went over to where Neji was sitting next to some obnoxious girl he hated with a burning passion deep within him. He hid it well though, so it was okay. "Pick one," Kakashi said to him.

He reached into the hat and pulled out a small card. "...A dentist?" he read. Also on the card was the weekly and annual salary and the hours—or "time you don't have to spend with your child". It also had the number of personal days he had for the year—three—all of which he would be required to "take off" during the next two weeks of the project.

His partner pulled out stay-at-home mom. "How convenient!" she exclaimed in her nasally voice. She then proceeded to start giggling in an awkward, unattractive, choppy way.

It went to Hinata next. "...A-An IRS agent," she read, blinking. That sounded... interesting? Then it was Naruto's turn. He rubbed his hands together and grinned, hoping for something good.

"Why is this even an option?" he asked with a mildly disturbed look on his face. Hinata, who's face has reverted back to its normal color by now, glanced over at his card and immediately started blushing again.

"What is it?" Ino asked from across the room.

He paused and considered whether or not he should answer. He enjoyed making jokes, but did he want to be the joke? Decisions, decisions. "A prostitute," he answered her. Everyone laughed or smirked (if they were Sasuke). Shino was the only one who didn't really react.

He could be heard muttering in his corner, "Why _is_ that an option...?" he wondered.

Kakashi ignored him and took the cowboy hat around the rest of the room. There were several repeats and several more weird jobs. There were still cards left over for his other classes. Sasuke ended up being the only second block drug dealer.

After everyone had their jobs, Kakashi passed out several magazines and newspapers to each pair and Ino. They had ads and prices for things like cars, houses, and other things.

After he finished doing that, he passed out the final part of the project. The baby.

"Before I give you this, there are sensors in these that tell if they've been dropped, how long they were crying before they were picked up, how often its diaper is changed, and so on."

He gave Neji a baby. "Congratulations, it's a boy."

.

**notes**— Ino just gets all the luck. I don't know why I'm being so mean to her. I actually like her character.


	3. three

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HOMESTUCK. Just kidding. I'm sick right now and don't want to. /alldeesbitches. I'm watching New Year's Eve illegally in another tab but it's a movie and needs to load (BUT, BUT ZAC EFRON—WORTH IT).  
>Also, I wrote a collab with my friend <strong>Sarigo<strong> called _Sasuke, West Virginia Ranger_. It's on her account and it's complete crack. :I It's a western—even though it's set in West Virginia (but that's the point). xD

Anyways—

.

Sakura really wanted to know if it was frowned upon to punch a fake baby. She kind of figured it was, but she wasn't all that sure. It kind of _looked_ like a real baby, so that probably wouldn't send the neighbors a very good message.

She was outside on her back porch at the moment, sweeping. She had to bring Ayumi out too and she _would not shut up_. She kind of figured she should be used to by now, but _God_, that thing was annoying. Sasuke told her he would probably come over in a couple hours and she was desperately wishing it was sooner.

She even sent him a text, _No, come now_!

His only reply was _Sorry, drug deal in process_. It was then that she decided that she hated him (in a friendly way though—she was a nice person _thank you very much_.)

So, now, there she was. Standing outside with a _baby _in her arms, feeding it, trying to make it shut up. Theoretically, that might not be something the neighbors should see either. They tended to be rather judgmental and would probably assume she just randomly popped out a baby. (The thing looked pretty real from a distance.)

Groaning slightly, she moved over to the door and attempted to open it without dropping the baby or the bottle. She was pressing down on it with her elbow and trying to push it at the same time. It wasn't working very well considering it was a doorknob that needed to actually be twisted.

She also wished her mom hadn't gone out clubbing or whatever the hell she did with her friends.

While she was awkwardly pressed against the door, it opened by itself. Luckily, since she was _trying_ to get the door open, she only stumbled a little when it actually did.

She looked up, expecting to see her mom. "...Oh, hi Sasuke," she greeted, awkwardly—and then a thought occurred to her. "...How the _hell_ did you get into my house?"

He lifted up the spare key that _was_ in a little rock-shaped thing by the door. "You make it so obvious," he said blandly before walking over to grab the stroller and baby bag. Sakura wanted to name the bag Geophrey but Sasuke wouldn't go for it. He was _such_ a loser.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, you're a creeper," she replied before walking inside the house. It was only then that she realized the baby wasn't crying anymore. There was a little red light on the back of it's neck that was shining, meaning it was asleep. She put it into the cradle-like thing she and her mom had made in the living room next to the TV.

When Sasuke came in, dragging the stroller behind him, he raised an eyebrow at her as if to say, _Where the fuck did you put our baby_? (More or less.)

She pointed to where she was before turning on the TV. She was so glad that they got a baby that didn't wake up _that_ easily to noise. So, so glad.

When he was still just standing there after putting down the baby bag (_Geophrey_, Sakura would angrily correct in her mind) and the stroller, Sakura rolled her eyes. "Come, sit," she said, patting the cushion next to her.

He shrugged slightly (but by that time, Sakura was already refocused on the TV—he was pretty much positive it was some new Disney show, she was weird like that) and went over to sit down next to her, awkwardly.

They sat in an awkward silence (well, it was awkward for Sasuke—Sakura didn't even really notice) that was filled only with Disney for a while until the front door opened and Sakura's mom walked in, laughing to herself. When she saw the two sitting on the couch, she put on her serious face.

"Sakura, Sasuke," she said in acknowledgement, nodding her head towards them.

Sakura gave her a small, awkward wave and Sasuke just kind of sat there. She continued to stand there, staring at the two intensely. Eventually, she just went upstairs, grumbling to herself about teenage boys trying to get her daughter pregnant when they already had a fake pain-in-the-ass.

Neither of the two teenagers said anything until they heard the bedroom door close.

"Uh, sorry," Sakura said, letting out a short, forced laugh. "She's... kind of insane, really."

Sasuke nodded in understanding. His entire family was completely insane, so it all worked out.

"She's better when my dad's around, but he always works late, so I get to put up with her crazy _all the time_." Sasuke smirked slightly as she began ranting. She continued talking about how her mother had completely _ruined_ her eighth birthday just by being herself and various other weird stories.

"And they always say that kids grow up to be like their parents—what if that happened to me, I mean seriously. I guess _that's_ what this project is for," she said, motioning towards the crib as she did so. "But I don't think it will really help considering she wasn't all that weird until I was a toddler—not that they've told me, anyways, because it's not like I can remember anything as a _baby_. That's just silly, honestly. Oh, and—"

"Sakura," Sasuke said, cutting her off. He was surprised when she actually stopped talking, he didn't think that would actually work.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. The rest of her body was frozen, even her hands were in the middle of making one of her awkward-rant-hand-motions.

"Please shut up."

"...You should really learn how to sugar-coat things, Sasuke—one day, you might hurt someone's feelings."

"Because I totally give a shit," he replied, sarcastically. That was when she starting freaking out and clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Don't teach our baby that kind of language!" she whispered as if she was actually offended.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her, amused. When she moved her hand, he muttered, "God, you're weird..." She went back to watching TV and he didn't bother saying anything else until it was time for him to leave.

.

**notes**— I don't like this chapter that much. I had a place where I was going to stop it originally and then I realized it was like, 500 words. So. :I Hopefully, the next chapter will be better. ): Anyways, review please! (:


	4. four

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— I got new glasses. They're really big, like hardcore hipster glasses. I kind of want someone to think they're fake just so they'll ask to try them on and then realize how blind I am because the reactions are always hilarious.

.

The next morning, Sakura came downstairs, smiling to herself. Ayumi hadn't woken her up _once_.

Having a fake baby wasn't that bad when it would shut up for longer than ten minutes. Last night, after Sasuke had left, she woke up and began crying, obnoxiously. Sakura went over and held her and she _still_ didn't stop for another twenty minutes.

Finally, when she did go back to sleep, Sakura quietly thanked every god she could think of and went upstairs to sleep. That morning, she still didn't hear anything, and she was able to take a shower that was longer than two minutes. She had previously come to the conclusion that Ayumi was afraid of the sound of running water.

She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and got dressed in nice clothes—because she could, because there weren't any babies screaming—before finally making her way down the steps.

When she was almost to the bottom, she checked the time on her cell phone—7:20. She still had thirty minutes before she needed to leave.

Smirking inwardly and throwing her phone into her purse, she walked over to the crib and leaned over it to pick up the large bundle of blankets where her baby was supposed to be.

What the fuck.

By now she was panicking slightly because what if a burglar had come into their house in the middle of the night and, thinking Ayumi was a real baby, kidnapped her and was now holding her ransom.

She would _fail_ Health! No one ever _failed_ Health at Konoha High—it was virtually impossible. However, she had done really badly on the Sex Ed unit (because she couldn't listen to Kakashi talk about inappropriate things—she just _couldn't_) and if she failed the Ready Or Not Baby Project, she would be doomed.

She began repeatedly saying "_Oh my God_," under her breath.

"Mom!" she called, running back upstairs to her mother's room. She burst into the room, fully aware that there was the possibility of her mother changing or something else equally disturbing that she would see upon doing so. Her mother wasn't in there though and she began freaking out some more.

What if her mom had been kidnapped too? They could have realized Ayumi wasn't real and come back for something else and, instead of finding Sakura, they found her mother. It was perfectly plausible because she could have woken up and seen them there so, even though they were going to go looking for Sakura, they decided they should probably just go ahead and take the mom in case she called the cops.

It made sense, at least in Sakura's head...

She looked in all of the bathrooms and closets and guest bedrooms that were upstairs only to find them all empty.

She quickly dashed back down to the first story, ran through the living room, and ripped open the door to the kitchen. There was her mother, laughing at something while pouring a glass of orange juice and there was Sasuke, sitting there at her kitchen table, holding Ayumi.

"...Why are you in my house again?" she asked, not really caring if it sounded rude or not. To any normal person, she was sure it would have (especially if she was judging by the pointed look her mother was giving her), but Sasuke wasn't a normal person and he seemed to find nothing at all wrong with her words.

"I'm taking you to school," he said in monotone, taking a sip of the orange juice her mother had just poured. Sakura didn't miss the look that crossed his face when he did so, probably because it was so sour, but he took another sip to be polite.

"Oh, really? And when was _I_ informed of this?" she asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

He looked at her like she was stupid. "Last night? When you asked me to?"

Oh.

OH.

She remembered that now. As he was walking out the door, she told him that he should pick her up in the morning and take her to school so she didn't have to ride with her psycho mother that drove worse than a monkey with only a month of experience.

"Oh. Alright then... Why did you take my baby then?"

He rolled his eyes. If he was anyone else, he would have teasingly corrected her and said, "_Our_ baby," but he wasn't anyone else—he was Sasuke Uchiha—so he didn't. "She was crying and you were doing something," he said.

"Oh. Well. Whatever. Thanks, I guess."

He grunted in response, taking another sip of orange juice, another pained expression crossing over his face.

Sakura fought back a laugh and ate her own breakfast in silence.

.

**notes**—I think this chapter is shorter than the others. Sorry! ): I'm kind of running out of ideas...


	5. five

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— I started writing this in Chorus after a vocab quiz. A kid came in late and we had to sit there in silence for a while and I apparently misplaced my book...

.

"Hello~_o_, class," Kakashi greeted as he walked into the class—_ten minutes after the tardy bell_.

Nobody said anything in reply to his greeting, just kind of stared at him for a few seconds before shuffling around, trying to pull out notebooks and binders without knocking over their baby carrier. Ino was sitting in the back of the room with three identical babies, trying to find out which was hers so she could turn in the other two.

Kakashi rolled his eyes (well... the visible one, at least) and then turned around and began writing on the white board without a word. It was three minutes in to the mostly silent class that a baby began crying. It belonged to a pair of of shy, nameless kids that sat in the back of the room.

Everyone turned to stare at them, making them both rather flustered. The girl picked up the baby and held it. Right before it stopped, another began crying. And then another. And another. Et cetera, until they were all wailing.

Kakashi, unfazed, quietly wondered what the other teachers must think, hearing crying through the walls.

You could barely hear anybody else as they all yelled to their partner, asking what to do.

"Go to the hallway," Sasuke replied to Sakura. She couldn't hear him though because he violently refused to yell (and, even on the rare occasion that he did, it was a quiet yell).

"What?" Sakura screeched loudly in reply, cursing his (overly) quiet nature. He visibly sighed, grabbed her arm, and yanked her out to the hallway. This time, she cursed his (overly) forceful nature. She rubbed her arm where he had grabbed her while also still holding a crying Ayumi. It was much quieter in the hallway though, that was a plus.

As she continued to rub her arm (because he had a really strong grip and it _really_ hurt), he grabbed the baby and held it until it stopped crying.

Once Ayumi had shut up and the light came on, indicating that she was asleep, he leaned back against the wall and slid down it. He could still faintly hear the sounds of the chaos inside the classroom—he wouldn't be going back in there anytime soon.

Sakura blinked as she watched him sit down and let out a sigh of relief. He had always hated loud noises—what was going on inside the classroom was _freakishly_ loud. She sat down next to him, still gripping her arm even though it didn't really hurt anymore.

They sat there in half-silence for a while before Sakura finally spoke up, "We're not going to be able to go back in there until the end of class, are we?"

That was when Sasuke did some half-grin thing and let out a little amused "Tch" sound that sound like a kind-of-laugh. "No, probably not," he replied, with what Sakura _thought_ was a smile on his face (but she was never really sure with Sasuke).

She smiled back (assuming that _was_ a smile...) and sarcastically replied, "_Fun_..." (because sitting in a hallway for another hour wasn't all that fun). They fell back into a silence.

.

.

After school, Sasuke drove her home and, deciding he wouldn't do a "drug deal" today, they hung out there for a little while.

"Oi, Sauce-cakes," Sakura said, plopping down on the couch next to him. "We should go somewhere." It was five and her mother wouldn't be home for a couple more hours and she didn't really want to be there when she arrived.

Sasuke grunted before asking in his usual monotone, "Where?"

Sakura let out a small "Hm..." sound as she thought about it, tapping her chin and twisting her mouth in a weird way. "McDonald's!" she exclaimed eventually, clasping her hands together. Her eyes were bright, like that was the best idea in the world.

The exclamation was only met with a raised eyebrow and a mildly disgusted expression on Sasuke's part. "Ew," he replied, blandly. She rolled her eyes.

"You are _such_ a girl..." She began tapping on her chin again, trying to think of somewhere else they could go. "How about that cute little diner that opened a couple months ago?"

"Yeah," he began, sarcastically. "I love eating straight grease."

Sakura rolled her eyes again and brought her hand to her face. "Get a salad, seriously. It's not that hard." He grunted again, but still stood up. She stared at his back, confused, as he walked to the door.

When his hand was on the doorknob, he turned and asked, "Are you coming?" Sakura grinned and ran after him. She wasn't taking the baby (because two teenagers walking into a restaurant with a real-looking baby probably wouldn't look very good), so all she could do was hope that she wouldn't wake up before they got back.

.

**notes**— Fun Fact: When I was copying the first part from paper to the computer, I kept typing "Sasuke" whenever I needed to type "Sakura".


	6. six

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— Zac Efron owns my heart. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. Oh my God.

.

Somehow or other, they ended up at the park. It was twelve o'clock—on a school night. How scandalous!—and Sakura decided that she really wanted to be swinging.

Sure, she might have been a little old to be doing so and the seat was kind of tight because it was made for seven year olds (Sasuke was sitting on the one next to her, perfectly comfortable because he was really skinny and had no junk in the trunk, he wasn't swinging though—lame), but nothing beat the feeling of flying. She loved the way her hair blew backwards when she swung forward—definitely messing it up and probably making it look ridiculous—and the way it tickled her face when she went back. It was a decently warm night too (because Konoha had really weird weather patterns) so the wind was actually quite welcomed.

Eventually, she began slowing down a bit—not too much, but enough so she could talk to Sasuke. "_You_—" she said as she flew past him. It was then when she realized she would have to stop if she actually wanted to say anything. She drug her feet on the ground and then looked over at him to finish her sentence. "—don't know what you're missing." She was grinning widely because she felt high on life and finger-combing her hair because she knew she had to look ridiculous.

Sasuke looked over and shrugged in response before standing up. For a second, she was worried he was going to make them leave but he instead just re-situated himself on the swing so he was sitting sideways, one leg on either side of it.

Sakura grinned wider and did the same thing. She had enough swinging for one day—something about it left her feeling incredibly worn out.

Grabbing onto the chain, she leaned forward with amusement in her eyes. "So Sasuke, tell me about yourself."

As she said the statement, she realized she actually knew _nothing_ about him. Well, she knew his name. First and last, at least, but she vaguely remembered hearing something about how he didn't have a middle name or something like that.

She also remembered how she told him about how insane her mother was—she figured she deserved some kind of compensation.

"Like what?" he asked, swinging back and forth (which considering the way he was sitting, meant towards her).

She tapped her finger on her chin, thinking. "Like... what's your family like?"

"My mom is insane, my dad is a _dick_, and my brother is an insane dick," he replied, blandly. He was getting really tired and didn't even realize that he had just told someone something about his family. He never did, except the occasional story about his mother. He tried to push them out of his mind as much as possible.

Sakura blinked. She hadn't really expected to get a reply so quickly. She kind of figured she have to force it out of him. "Oh."

He flashed her a smile that he probably didn't realize was full of self-pity. "Yeah. _Oh_," he replied before letting the conversation drop. They fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence as he looked up at the sky and continued rocking back and forth.

Sakura smiled at him, even though he wasn't looking at her, before turning back to sit in the swing the correct way. Once she had kicked off, she realized that she didn't really want to swing anymore. It was getting late and she was tired.

"Oi, Sasuke!" she called, dragging her feet on the ground once again. He looked over at her and raised an eyebrow, signalling for her to continue. "Walk me home," she commanded. She stood up and looked down at his still-sitting form with her hands on her hips and a grin on her face.

He just kind of stared at her for a a few seconds, as if he was trying to process what she had just said (which he was, because he was tired and could barely process any thoughts going through his head). Eventually, he realized he probably looked like an idiot (and he _hated_ looking like an idiot) just sitting there like that, so he stood up and and they immediately began walking towards her house.

The park was in her neighborhood so it wasn't too long of a walk. They walked in a comfortable silence. Sakura was swinging her arms and legs like a child while bobbing her head to a song in her head and Sasuke just walked along next to her with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie and his eyes on her because _God_, she was weird.

He didn't even notice when they ended up on her front porch until she turned to him, gave him a small, friendly hug and said goodbye. It was when she had her hand on the doorknob that the gears in his head began turning and the lack of sleep made him call out, "Hey, wait."

She turned to him and asked, "What?" while raising an eyebrow. He stared at her for a couple seconds again before letting out some awkward, incomprehensible string of syllables. She let out a short giggle. "Am I supposed to know what that—" she was cut off when he kissed her.

It was short because the entire thing kind of shocked him awake because he wasn't sure why he actually _did_ that. When he pulled away, his eyes were wide and he was fighting down a blush because _he did not blush, thank you very much_.

She was standing there, her eyes equally as wide. She was opening and closing her mouth, while making little strangle "Uh..." sounds. She had never been in this kind of situation and she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

"Uh, um... Well... Goodnight!" she called before stepping inside and slamming the door in his face.

She stayed pressed up against the door for a few minutes, with the same wide-eyed expression on her face. "What the fuck," she whispered quietly and then louder, she repeated it, "What the _fuck_?"

.

**notes**— I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I'm really tired right now and it's only 3:37 in the afternoon. What the fuck. Review? (:


	7. seven

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— I don't even think you know how utterly pissed off I am right now. I was in such a good mood yesterday because I hadn't updated this story in a while and I was glad that I could finally give everyone reading it a new chapter. I actually wrote three new chapters yesterday. But no, then chapter seven has to fuck up and _I didn't even know it_. Seriously, I posted chapter eight too and it was only then, twelve hours after I posted chapter seven, someone tells me that it's blank. I was at a party at the time and it was 11:30 PM so I was like, "Okay, I'll just repost it tomorrow when I wake up. That'll be fine. I always wake up early." But no. The universe hates me right now and it decided it was going to make everything I wrote in chapter seven _disappear_.

You know what's ironic though? In the beginning of the notes for chapter seven I was trying to explain why it had taken me so long to update, just talking about all the shit going on, and then it decides to screw me over. I'm really fucking pissed off and I'm crying right now but I'm going to rewrite this fucking chapter.

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Sakura went to lay down a few minutes after she had slid down the door. She grabbed Ayumi and, instead of putting her in the crib next to the television, she brought her upstairs with her. She was too confused to have to go all the way downstairs at night to get a fake baby. If the damn thing started crying, it would be right next to her.

When she was finally in her bed, her eyes wouldn't shut. She just stared at the ceiling, confused as hell and wondering where her and Sasuke were supposed to go from there.

He _kissed_ her and that was so incredibly out of character and she didn't think he even liked her like that.

Would it just make things awkward? After all, she hadn't really thought of him like that since the seventh grade when he was _the_ hottest twelve year old the world had ever seen and she wanted a non-whorish _piece_ of that ass. Seventh grade seemed so long ago though. If _freshman_ year felt like years ago, seventh grade felt like an eternity. Now, she really only saw Sasuke as her incredibly attractive brother (who was somehow only three and half months younger than her) who she was raising a fake baby with.

He had been friend zoned. She had heard people don't come back from the friend zone and she wasn't all that sure if she could look at him _like that_. Thinking he was the hottest guy on planet earth and wanting to hit that were surprisingly two incredibly different things.

It was just so confusing. She didn't even know how she really felt about the kiss, it was so short. She found herself wondering whether she would have kissed back, if he was actually a good kisser (it had been the topic of conversation for her class year for quite some time), and then, if it even _happened_.

She had a tendency to imagine things in her mind and then think they're real. Like the time she thought her mom said "Be home at eleven!", but she actually said "Oh hell no! You aren't leaving this house!", or the multiple times where she would think something and then be positive she said it out loud but later, when she brought it up, nobody would have any idea what she was talking about.

Normally though, in those situations, it was because she wanted something to happen. Did she want Sasuke to kiss her? That really didn't make any sense unless she was secretly in love with him and it was so secret that even she wasn't aware of it.

Somehow, that made more sense to her than him liking her. He was Sasuke, after all.

But then, if it _was_ real, did she still like him or not?

If he did like her and she didn't like him, it was going to be awkward. If _she_ liked him and had imagine the whole thing, it was going to be awkward.

She turned over on her bed and groaned into her pillow. Ayumi woke up and started crying.

.

.

Sasuke was also lying in his bed, contemplating the situation. He, on the other hand, was really fucking tired.

Every time he would shut his eyes and begin to fall asleep, a little voice in the back of his head would wake him back up by asking, _did I really fucking do that_?

He was _Sasuke Uchiha_, son of the chief of police and _Mikoto_ Uchiha, which was scary in itself. He didn't get _crushes_ on girls like Sakura and, if he did, he didn't let her know that. The problem was that he had _tried_ to stop liking her, he did. It didn't work though. He had liked her since they were paired together for a science project near the beginning of freshman year. He didn't know what exactly triggered it, but he liked her. A lot. She was just so pretty and smart and fun and pretty and—_fuck_.

He couldn't think like that.

He was pretty sure she didn't even like him like that. (Which kind of pissed him off because he _one did not simply friend zone Sasuke Uchiha..._ It is folly. [Though, considering he just referenced Lord of the Rings _in his __thoughts_, he could see how it might not be that hard.])

He didn't like thinking like that though because he _did_ like her, even if he was going to violently deny it to anyone who asked.

He was still so fucking tired.

Too tired to be thinking clearly or trying to stop liking Sakura like he normally did. He was around her too much, that was probably the problem, but it wasn't like he was going to cut her out.

He kissed her though so he wasn't all that sure where they were going to go from there.

He did stupid shit when he was tired. He felt like that should probably make him fall asleep but he still was in that tired-but-can't-sleep kind of stage. He grabbed his phone and checked the time.

_2:14 AM_ flashed at him and he groaned. He flipped over onto his stomach and tried to get comfortable but he still couldn't fall asleep.

After laying there for another half hour, he grabbed his phone and played some boring, repetitive game for two hours until he was finally too tired to keep his eyes open.

.

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**notes**— This was originally a lot longer but I don't even know exactly all that was in this chapter so it's not as long.

Then, of fucking course, before I can save the document, my computer screws up and doesn't save even half of it. :I


	8. eight

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— One thing you probably would guess about me: I try to tone down the cussing when I'm writing. Obviously I don't censor all of it, but it could be worse. ;)

DOUBLE UPDATE ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE SKY.

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The next day was kind of (really) awkward. Sasuke was in three of her four classes and they sat at the same lunch table. The only class they didn't have together was first block, so it was only an hour and a half before five and a half hours of Sasuke.

She got through first block without any trouble. At first, it was going by slowly because she was afraid of going to Health. After that though, she realized it was going by slowly and began hoping it would never end which, of course, made it go by that much faster. She packed up her books slowly and then begrudgingly walked out of the classroom. When the sprint bell rang, she was just barely out of the hallway, which really wasn't that good because the health room was halfway across the school. She sighed and began to walk faster since she only had three minutes.

She made it into the classroom and then it was still another minute before the bell actually rang, which kind of pissed her off. Since it was Health, she had to sit right next to Sasuke. It wasn't that bad though. He was resting his head on the desk and not moving. She assumed he was asleep, but she wasn't sure. She set the baby carrier down on the center of the desk, quietly. She didn't want to alert him.

When it was finally actually on the table, she breathed a sigh of relief because he didn't move at all. Almost immediately after that though, the tardy bell rang and he jumped up, almost comically. She might have laughed if she wasn't aware of how awkward things were about to get. He didn't even look over at her though, instead sinking back into his chair with a slight groan.

Sakura was beginning to feel incredibly uncomfortable because it felt like he was trying to ignore her and she wasn't sure if they should talk about what had happened—and she still wasn't sure if what had happened had actually happened, so she didn't want to bring it up.

It was just... It was kind of a painful situation.

She was incredibly thankful that Kakashi didn't say "free day!" like he did so many times but instead decided that they would actually learn about budgeting and whatnot. He also told them that they would be required to write a paper with their partner at the end of the project, which kind of pissed her off. The class passed by surprisingly quickly, despite her feeling awkward and freaking out about the Sasuke Situation. In third, they had an alphabetical seating arrangement and the teacher hadn't even hinted about making a new one.

That was good because she sat on the opposite side of the room from him but the way the seats were arranged, it had two sides, so she could pretty much look at him the entire time. He fell asleep again in third block. The teacher didn't seem to notice.

At lunch, she went to the library.

In fourth block, they were next to each other again and Sakura was still afraid that he might talk to her. Especially when _that_ teacher decided that they should have a free day.

.

.

Sasuke was so fucking tired. He knew he should have gotten more sleep the previous night, he _knew_ it, but he didn't go to sleep any earlier and now he was paying for it. He kept drifting off during first block and then coming back, he got to second block quickly and rested his head, which ended up turning into falling asleep. He was shocked awake by the tardy bell, thankfully, but quickly slumped into his seat, still tired.

He briefly glanced over to Sakura who seemed to be having some internal battle with herself. He rolled his eyes and turned away from her. He wasn't good with girl problems and he didn't want to get sucked into it by meeting her eyes. He didn't know what it was, but he figured she would probably get over it by the end of the day.

Thankfully, his tactic seemed to work because she didn't talk to him, or even write him some random note like she sometimes would when Kakashi was actually teaching. He thought he might need to feel a little insulted or maybe even a little awkward that she wasn't talking to him, but he didn't because he was just too tired to actually feel emotions right then.

In third block, he fell asleep again, this time throughout the entire class. The bell once again woke him up. He packed up his books, yawning, still incredibly tired. It was kind of annoying. He thought he might wait for Sakura since it was time for lunch and they sat together, but when he looked over to her seat, she had already left.

He shrugged it off and walked by himself. She wasn't there at lunch and he wondered if he had missed an early dismissal call for her. He stayed awake at lunch due to Naruto being really fucking loud.

When it was time for fourth block, he was one of the last one in the room. Sakura was there and he considered asking her where she had been but she had the same look on her face as she did in Health—the one that said she was dealing with something—so he decided against it. He sat down next to her and as soon as he sat down, he fell asleep again.

He was so, so tired.

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**notes**— Uneventful chapter is uneventful. ): But can you review anyways? (:


	9. nine

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— I'm in a much better mood than when I fixed chapter seven. I feel like I need to get a massage or something because _oh my God, so much stress_.

.

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Fourth block passed and included Ayumi screaming obnoxiously. Sasuke, who immediately woke up, came to the rescue and picked her up and, since he was the fake baby's favorite, she stopped crying within a few minutes.

Instead of putting her right back in the carrier, he handed her back to Sakura. She looked at him, eyes wide, because he was actually going to hand it to her? It was so awkward. She took Ayumi anyways, trying her best not to actually touch the person handing the baby to her.

Sasuke gave her a weird look but it fell off rather quickly in favor of a tired one.

He looked like he might try to talk to her so she put Ayumi back into the carrier quickly before pulling out a book and flipping to a random page. If she was reading, he wouldn't go out of his way to distract her.

Right now, she was just trying to make it through the day. Throughout the project he would normally come over after school but, considering the circumstances, she kind of doubted he would. He had to be feeling the awkwardness too. Even if the whole "kiss" thing was something she made up in her head (it felt really real though so she was almost positive it happened), she knew she was giving off an air of "I feel awkward right now" and he had to be picking up on that.

She glanced over at him again. He wasn't asleep but he did have a moderately dead look in his eyes. He was twirling a pencil around in his fingers and staring at the ceiling.

He must have felt her eyes on him because, without actually moving his head, his eyes shifted in her direction. She quickly turned back to her book.

He looking at her, confused. He wasn't as painfully tired as he was at the beginning of the day (since he had been asleep for a large portion of it) so he was starting to notice things. Like how she hadn't talked to him all day. He knew she had something going on but he wasn't all that sure what it was. He figured she would want to talk to the first person that listened and that it would be him if he made eye contact but now she was avoiding eye contact?

(because, even if she thinks she's being smooth, he saw her eyes dart away when he looked over at her.)

He sat up straight and put down his pencil. She hadn't flipped the page in her book in the last twenty or so minutes she had it open. "Hey, are you—" The bell rang. The fucking bell rang and she practically sprinted out of the room.

He sighed and picked up his stuff at a much slower pace than her. When he actually stood up, he realized something—she had left Ayumi on the table. Sighing again, he grabbed the carrier and carried it out to his car. He would have to take it to Sakura's house.

.

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The doorbell rang at about six o'clock.

Sakura had just become aware that she had left Ayumi at the school and all she could do was hope that Sasuke got her. When she heard the doorbell, she kind of figured it was a neighbor or something. They liked to come over and complain sometimes and she had been waiting for the "So, I saw you with a baby" conversation.

When she opened the door, Sasuke was standing there, holding up the baby carrier.

"Oh. Thanks," she said, grabbing it from the bottom rather than the handle so she wouldn't come close to his hand. Once she grabbed it, she sat it down on the floor behind her. Normally, she would have moved out of the way of the door so he could walk in. This time, she turned back towards him and they stared at each other for a while.

By this time, Sasuke knew something was up with her. He had known her for four years and he still felt like he barely knew her.

"...Are you not going to let me in?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh." She stepped aside after that, albeit hesitantly. He followed her into the living room. They sat on the couch and didn't say anything for a while. Eventually, Sasuke asked "What was with you today?"

First, she looked at him like he was completely insane but then she masked it with a calmer look and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Uh... you didn't talk to me all day."

"_Oh_, you just seemed really tired, I didn't want to keep you from your sleep. Plus, there wasn't really anything to talk about."

He didn't reply, just kind of looked at her. She didn't even talk to him when he _wasn't_ sleeping though... He tried to think of something he could have done that might have bothered her. He had been so tired that he didn't even think about that possibility.

Then, suddenly, it was as if he got slapped across the face.

He had been so tired he didn't even remember what kept him up all night—the kiss. Of course it was the kiss.

But... she had been acting so nonchalant right then... Maybe he imagined the kiss? That kind of made sense, right? She could be telling the truth and (there was no point in denying it) since he wanted to kiss her, he imagined that he did.

In the real world that wasn't in Sasuke's mind, he was still staring at Sakura. And it was making her increasingly uncomfortable.

"Uh..." She began glancing around the room so she didn't have to look at him. Almost immediately when she looked away, he leaned in _again_ and kissed her _again_. This one was longer than the first. He grabbed her face and shuffled himself closer to her. This time, he was waiting to see if she would respond. And she did because she didn't want to be rude when someone attractive was kissing her, even if it was kind of awkward because she was pretty sure she friendzoned him a while ago, but she was starting to think that people actually could come back from the friendzone because this was pretty nice.

He pulled away from her eventually and they just kind of stared at each other for a few seconds. They looked away when they heard someone clearing their throat. Looking over, there was Sakura's mom, staring at them with distrust.

"Do _not_ get my daughter pregnant!" she screamed before picking up the pillow that was sitting in a rocking chair and throwing it at Sasuke.

Sakura laughed and pulled him up and to the front door. They walked outside and sat on the stoop in silence for a while. They sat for a lot longer than they thought because when Sasuke's phone went off, it was already nine o'clock and his mother was telling him to come home.

"Okay... Okay... Yeah, okay... Bye," Sasuke said before hanging up the phone. He looked over to Sakura. "I need to go. I'm technically not even supposed to drive past eight..."

Sakura laughed. "Okay." As he began to walk away, she called after him. "Hey!" She jogged over and asked, "That kiss... last night... did that actually happen?" He looked unsure for a moment before nodding. "And that kiss, a few hours ago?"

"Yeah?"

"Did that mean anything?"

He looked at her. He didn't know what he was supposed to say because, to him, it meant _a lot_. He didn't just go around kissing random people.

"Did it?" he asked, looking amused.

"...I asked you first."

After that comment, he smiled. An actual smile that she could identify. He looked away from her while it was happening though because it seemed like that would make it more real and he _really_ wasn't one for smiling...

Without answering the question, he opened his car door. "Bye Sakura," he said before getting in and driving away.

Sakura glared at the car as it drove away, completely confused about where they stand. "Bastard...," she muttered before walking back inside to the baby she could hear crying through the closed door.

**notes**— I went to K-Mart yesterday for the first time in _years_. They had these blue boots that I liked and they were on sale since, you know, it's hot outside. If I had money, I would've bought them. I probably could've convinced my parental units to get them if I had an argument. It was around 90 degrees (which is around 32 degrees Celsius, or 305 degrees Kelvin! -is taking physical science-) though, so... Yeah. ):


	10. ten

**summary**— In which Sasuke and Sakura have a baby. Sort of. SASUSAKU. AU.  
><strong>notes<strong>— I have to start school tomorrow. (I moved. I don't _think_ any of you were previously aware of that. I don't know. I might have mentioned it.) I'm hoping it'll be okay because so far I _really_ hate it here. I've just been, I don't know, _depressed_.

But this new school has a totes whack dress code, y'all.

(but it's okay because, even though we can't wear denim, Forever 21 sells skinny _pants_. 98 percent cotton. _Boo_-yah.)

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Sakura woke up feeling _much_ better than she did the day before. She felt refreshed, like nothing could ruin her mood. So, even when Ayumi was screaming at the stop of her speaker-lungs, she felt... not necessarily happy and not necessarily content, but somewhere in between. She was content in a good way.

(She felt like she would probably be really happy without the **screaming, robot baby** though.)

When she picked up Ayumi, she was reminded of something.

It was _Friday_. They would turn in their babies today and then hand in the final paper on Monday. It was over, no more baby.

Looking at the still, baby face, forever held in a screaming expression, she thought she almost might miss the thing.

Almost.

(But probably not.)

Taking the baby with her, she walked back to her room and grabbed her phone.

_It's over._ She texted to Sasuke while bouncing Ayumi up and down. She was relieved.

_It's Kakashi_. He sent back.

She cringed reading it, realizing that it implied that _it might not be over_. She hoped it was. She didn't think she could handle any more of this. That baby would _not_ be fake-alive anymore if she had to deal with it for more than the school day.

SHE WAS FIFTEEN, SHE HAD LEARNED HER LESSON. NO SEX.

Before she could send him a reply, telling him to not jinx it, her phone buzzed with another message from Sasuke. _Am I picking you up_?

_I don't know, are you_? she replied. She didn't want to make him feel like he _had_ to pick her up.

_I am now_, he replied. She rolled her eyes and threw her phone on the bed before going over to her closet to begin getting ready for school. She had just thrown on a shirt when her phone went off again. Walking back over to her phone, she picked it up and read the next message. _No, seriously. I'm outside right now._

"The _fuck_," she cursed before rushing around, trying to fix her hair and brush her teeth at the same time. She grabbed all of her things and threw on her Converse® before running out of the house.

Sure enough, Sasuke was sitting there in his car like a stalker.

She pulled open the door angrily and glared at him. He raised an eyebrow and then proceeded to roll his eyes.

"Nice to see you too, Sunshine," he deadpanned, staring forward and putting the car into drive.

"I hate you," she replied. "You're such a creepy-stalker-person."

"Charming," he mumbled sarcastically.

She stuck her tongue out at him (which she assumed he couldn't see, but he could because, well, peripheral vision.) and continued, "No, seriously. Like, you ask if I want a ride when you're already at my house. What if I said no? What if I said no and then I walked outside and saw you sitting there anyways? Or were you down the block beforehand? Either way is totally creep and not okay." She nodded to confirm everything she had just said.

He grunted in reply.

"You're just a ball of sunshine today, aren't ya?" she said, sarcasm dripping into her words.

"What?"

She grunted in reply, making it as obvious as possible that she was mocking him. Sasuke smirked at her response because she was stupid and that was just _lovely_.

"If that's supposed to be your confession of undying love for me, you should really work on it," he replied. He pulled into the school parking lot and parked in the sophomore section that, for whatever reason, was only the last six rows that they had to share with the juniors while the seniors got the first seven.

There were _not_ that many seniors.

"Okay, how about... Sasuke, you sexy beast of a man, you're sexy?" she asked.

"That's not a love confession, it's just stating facts," he replied, humoring her.

"Okay then. Um... Oh Sasuke, you sexy beast of a man who is sexy, will you have my babies?"

He turned away from her and grinned, chuckling silently to himself. When he stopped, he turned back to her and didn't say anything. The hint of a smile was still evident on his face which made Sakura grin.

She started to lean over to kiss him but then, as always, Ayumi has a sixth sense and began crying which made her realize _oh hey, we're in a school parking lot_! Grabbing the stupid baby-thing and thanking the Lord that this was almost over, she got out of the car, followed by Sasuke.

"I hate this thing," she muttered when he was walking next to her.

He nodded in agreement, taking the doll from her. She immediately shut up, which might have been some kind of seventh sense because fake babies shouldn't have feelings. Then again, they also shouldn't be able to see, hear, smell, touch, or taste either so it actually just kind of sense and not a numbered one. Number two, she would guess since she also had the whole interrupting-nice-moments down.

Sasuke handed Ayumi back to her because he was _not_ walking into the school building holding a baby doll and then grabbed Sakura's hand.

"If I _ever_ have to take Health again for any reason, I'm going to cut somebody. I swear I will, Sasuke. I _swear_."

"Cut who?"

"I don't know, who was the last Sexiest Man Alive?"

He stared at her like she was crazy. "You would cut the Sexiest Man Alive?"

She scoffed. "_No_, I would cut his wife." Sasuke, quite literally, face-palmed.

"You're insane."

"Your face is insane." Sasuke rolled his eyes and didn't reply to that because he didn't know what to say about that and he felt like it shouldn't be dignified with a response.

He was still holding her hand, which he realized, so he let it go before they walked inside because that was a PDA and nobody ever wanted to see that. The sprint bell rang a minute after they got inside so he mumbled a quick, "I'll see you in second." before going off to class.

.

.

When second block came Sakura was praying that she would get rid of Ayumi.

Something about it being the last day of the project seemed to make the baby cry seven times as much as usual and that was saying something because she normally cried a lot. Sakura considered cutting the baby. When she walked into the classroom, she immediately set the carrier down in front of Sasuke along with the baby bag, Geophrey.

"I'm never having children," she said. "I hate them."

"I like children," Sasuke replied.

"Well they like you, so shut up."

He rolled his eyes. "It's supposed to be better if they're actually yours."

"Don't preach to me, Uchiha, you're going to be my baby-sitter. Don't plan on getting a job."

"What happened to not having children?"

She shrugged. "I'll just have to find a nice husband." Sasuke rolled his eyes. They were sophomores in high school, honestly. The only thing this project did was make a fifteen year old think about _having_ children.

Then again, his parents had met in high school and they had been together since forever...

"Hey Sakura, you wanna go out sometime?"

She raised an eyebrow. "That was so random, Sasuke."

_That didn't answer my question, Sakura_, he considered replying but that was childish and he wasn't going to say that because he wasn't a childish person. Kaythanks. "Are you free tomorrow?"

The bell rang. Kakashi was late.

"Uh, _no_. I have a life."

"... No you don't."

"...Shut up. That's true though. I'm always free on Saturday, pick me up at two and we'll get lunch at a diner and it'll be greasy and we'll both get fat."

He blinked and wondered what was wrong with him. "Okay."

Ayumi started crying again.

**notes**— I really considering ending this after "Your face is insane." but then I decided I wanted this to be the last chapter so it would be a nice, even ten chapters. (I said at the beginning that this would be a fairly short story.


End file.
